Approaching your pediatrician with concerns about your child’s development or your concern about whether your child could be autistic should not be any different.

If your pediatrician has told you not to worry about your autism-related concerns, then follow up with research of your own.  Find developmental checklists to see whether your child is meeting the milestones for his or her age.  If your pediatrician has not performed a routine developmental screening, then ask for one.  Monitor your child’s behavior at home to determine whether you can detect any specific developmental delays.

Once you have determined these specifics, ask for a follow-up appointment in which you can bring these concerns to your pediatrician’s attention.  The more specific detail you have, the better.  Your pediatrician sees your child far less frequently than you do, so you’re the expert here.

While pediatricians can assess a child’s development, an autism diagnosis is made only after much more in-depth assessment by a specialist.  If you are concerned that your pediatrician may be missing some of the signs about which you are concerned, ask for a referral to a specialist who can perform more in-depth testing.

You may feel uncomfortable questioning your child’s physician, but remember that you are the expert on your child and his or her behavior.  You are your child’s strongest advocate, so if you know that “don’t worry” isn’t working for you, then don’t be afraid to push for additional testing, referrals, or a second opinion regarding your concerns.  Early intervention makes a tremendous difference in the lives of children with autism.  Without early diagnosis, however, early intervention cannot start.

Since a large component of autism is difficulty in communication and expression, a lack in these areas may be a sign that your baby has an autism spectrum disorder (ASD).  While diagnosis is complex, and not all delays are indicative of an ASD, if you find your answers to the following questions are “no,” then bring your concerns to your pediatrician right away.

Age 4 months:

Does baby react to movement and bright colors?  Does he turn toward sounds?  Are faces interesting to your baby?  Does she smile back at you?

Age 6 months:

Does your baby show joy and smile often when playing with you?  Does he babble and coo when happy, but cry when unhappy?

Age 9 Months:

Does your baby make faces and sounds with you in reaction to those you make?  Does she make gestures that mirror yours (e.g. giving and taking)?

Age 12 Months:

Does your baby use a few gestures (such as reaching, waving, pointing) one after the other in order to get his needs met? Does baby play social games such as peek-a-boo?  Does she turn to the speaker of her name?  Does baby make sounds like “ba,” “na,” “ga,” and “da”?

Age 15 Months:

Does your baby use different sounds to draw attention to things of interest and to get his needs met?  Does baby point or use other gestures to show something she’s interested in?  Does he use at least 3 words (like “bye-bye,” “mama,” “dada”)?

Age 18 Months:

Does your baby combine gestures and words to get what he or she wants?  Does she understand and use at least 10 words?  Does he engage in simple make-believe games like feeding a doll?

Age 24 Months:

Does your toddler use and understand at least 50 words and use at least two together (like “more milk”)? Does she seem to enjoy being with other children of the same age?  Does he play pretend games that involve more than one action, such as pretending to eat and then pretending to wash the dish?

Age 36 Months:

Does your child enjoy pretend play that involves talking for different characters, like dolls or action figures?  Does he answer questions that start with “what?” “who?” or “where?” easily?  Does she speak about thoughts and actions together in ways that make sense? (Such as, “Tired, go to bed”?

This list is certainly not a comprehensive checklist for developmental delays or for signs of autism, but rather a good starting point for knowing what should concern you most about your child’s emotional and language development.

Whatever the case, it is easy to pass off this worry as simply a normal part of parenting.  It is easy to rationalize worry (“It’s just a stage.” “She’ll grow out of it.).  However, trusting oneself to know one’s child is key here: if you have a concern, discuss it with your pediatrician. Parents must trust themselves with their concerns, listen to that voice of worry, get information, and take action.

Pediatricians are not with a child daily as parents are.  Parents, then, are the first line of defense in determining whether a child may have developmental delays.  Pediatricians rely on parents to relate information about the child’s development, through routine questionnaires and in answers to questions at an office visit.

If you have concerns about your child’s development, arrange an appointment for a routine developmental screening.  Find and read credible research on autism signs and symptoms.  Take note of your child’s behavior at home since those behaviors may not be repeated in an office setting.

Parents should remember that, while no one cause of autism has been discovered, it is not caused by parenting techniques.  Just as a parent would not hesitate to bring to the pediatrician’s attention a skin rash that may or may not be something more serious, so should the parent be willing to discuss developmental concerns.

Above all, if you are concerned, act quickly. There are no medical tests to rule out autism, but any concerns you have may be cause for further testing and diagnosis.  Early intervention is so important in a positive outcome for autistic children that the earlier a diagnosis can be made, the better.

As with any other concern you may have about your child, knowledge is power.  Rather than worrying, take action, and discuss your concerns with your pediatrician right away.

Familiarizing yourself with signs of appropriate development means being able to determine when you think something is just not right with your developing child.  Relying on parental intuition should not be undervalued.

Since autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) are diagnosed based on observation of behavior and not on a medical test, the insights of parents and caregivers is of great value in obtaining screening, diagnoses, and treatment, if necessary.

If you suspect your child is exhibiting signs of autism, do not be hesitant about approaching your pediatrician with your concerns.  Autism is not caused by parenting practices, and no scientific evidence exists that it is caused by routine childhood vaccinations.  Although research suggests links between environmental exposures and autism and between genetics and autism, autism in not per se preventable.

Pediatricians should listen to your concerns as well as ask questions about behaviors or make suggestions for further monitoring that will determine if further screening is warranted.  If you find that your pediatrician is not receptive to your concerns, do not hesitate to seek the opinion of a different doctor.

If your pediatrician deems further screening and evaluation necessary, he or she should be able to refer you to a specialist.  He or she may also be able to provide information about support groups or other services available to parents of young children affected by ASD.

Early diagnosis is essential to treatment and intervention.  If you are concerned about whether your child exhibits signs of autism, The American Autism Society’s website is a great resource for parents.

As with all aspects of parenthood, knowledge is power.  Educate yourself, trust your instincts, and do not hesitate to share your concerns with your pediatrician.  Most importantly, be an advocate for your child.